Couldn't See - Julia Raley

I knew she was there but I couldn't see her. When she wasn't there anymore, I finally could.

When my sister told me she was moving out (far from here), every words she's spoken, every glance she's given, everything she's ever done for me raced through my mind in a single beat. Suddenly, I saw her there. I really saw her. Tears rolling down her cheeks, glossy lost eyes, squeezing my hands. I felt her touch, felt her eyes on mine, felt her presence. My entire life with my sister, each moment down to every split second, those moments had been taken for granted and I couldn't get them back. She had been latent in my eyes. I can see her now though but she’s not here for me to look at her again and treasure her presence.

I believe we don't take the time to look at each other. To realize the moments we are given. To really admire them.

I expected her to just always be in the next room ready to give me a hug and aimlessly talk about our days after my school and her work. I miss her and I miss the moments I didn't give any attention to when they were still in my reach.

Now, I not only see the ones who love me and notice them with me, but I am afraid of not cherishing the time I have around them. I am not living out my existence in fear though. I am living my life breathing in every moment with the other lives passing through.

I can see them.